Healing Series: Breaking Patterns

Andrea Hylen
4 min readMay 5, 2024
Photo by Renzo D’souza on Unsplash

Day Two

Healing Series: Breaking Patterns

“If we break the chain of addiction, violence or other inherited, limiting beliefs, our children, and their children and those who follow them are given access to possibilities not available to the ancestors. And thus, the entire lineage evolves.” ~Dr. Judith Rich

I was born into a family with a history of alcoholism, anxiety, depression, and codependency. When I married my first husband, I knew he was an alcoholic, but he told me he would quit drinking. That was how naïve I was about drinking and alcoholism in 1980. As if he could just decide to quit drinking and everything would be fine. I didn’t understand the behaviors that lead someone to abuse alcohol, the addictive qualities of the body needing alcohol and the behaviors of people pleasing and denial that are within codependency and enabling and hyper-vigilance of the non-alcoholic.

When my daughters were young, we used to go to Cape Cod and spend a week on the land of my mother’s childhood home. Spending time with my parents and grandparents, I had an opportunity to observe the family dynamics, including my father’s and grandfather’s alcoholism, and my mother’s and my enabling roles in the family. By this time, I had divorced my husband, and we were co-parenting with the same dysfunctional behaviors. Spending…

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Andrea Hylen

Founder of Heal My Voice and The Incubator. Life Scientist. Live house-free. Widow. Mom of Adult Daughters. Grief. Writing Sexuality. Evolutionary Woman